Answer: No. Domino’s BBQ chicken wings are very, very bad, and here’s why.
Unsurprisingly, Domino’s has sought to corner the same market for low cost pizza delivery as with low cost chicken wing delivery. One might expect a Venn Diagram of the type of people who prefer a nice Domino’s pizza (which can actually be quite delicious) and the type of people who like to have sweet chicken wings delivered to have a fairly significant crossover. This author, being a part of both these categories, was hankering for some chicken after a long weekend spent travelling for Memorial day, 2018.
Rightfully so, most places were closed in honor of those fallen in combat for the service of this great country. Still unsurprisingly, Domino’s Pizza was still delivering on this day. Thus, we will review what can only be described as a desperate attempt to satisfy a craving for some crispy, crunchy wings that only ends in misery.
The chicken looked good enough when it arrived. Saucy, a little small (they were also party wings, which are an abomination in and of themselves), but they looked good enough to someone who hadn’t eaten in 24 hours (who had also ordered a whole pizza along with those wings). You will be interested to know that this author has been a fairly dedicated member of the clean plate club since he was a young boy (encouraging me to grow to my eventual Division-3 Offensive Lineman glory).
It may also interest you to know that this author did not finish even half of these wings. They were rubbery, they tasted unhealthy, not in the good way, and they left a dissatisfied and artificial taste in one’s mouth. The sauce was tasty, much like the pizza sauce at Domino’s is tasty (because it was designed to appeal to the lowest common denominator of people). However, the chicken skin was soft and broke apart easily in your mouth. It tasted like the kind of chicken that is raised with genuine concern, in some 1 foot by 1 foot pen, a feeding tube stuck down its throat its whole life. The actual meat was also soft and gave away easily. It was not just moist, it was unhealthy tasting. A good chicken wing has a crunchy, crispy exterior and still retains a moist and tender interior. This chicken fell apart as if it were grown in a lab based off of some general notion of what chicken ought to taste like. Thereby, the rating that these chicken wings deserve is a measly 4.0/10.
Why, you may ask, do the wings deserve anything but a flat-out 0.0/10? The answer is simple. In life, the only way you get a zero is if you do not try at all. Also, the only way to get a 10.0/10.0 is if you are literally traveling at the speed of light. Nature abides by the rules it sets, and who am I to say that chicken wings are capable of breaking open a wormhole into another dimension? The fact is, Domino’s put a product on the table and it turned out to be terrible. But they did put a product on the table. It was warm, it was on time, the sauce was tasty, if not entirely artificial tasting (in the same way their pizza sauce tastes, in a good, processed kind of way), and they were actual, bone-in chicken wings. So, they pass the barrier to entry by having a product to rate, however, they are nowhere near a contender for the kind of product that chicken wings are fully capable of.